


Baby, I'm an Anarchist!

by LuxBerlin



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Star Wars Fusion, Anarchist Rey, Anarchy, Angst, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, F/M, Forbidden Love, Hux is Not Nice, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Masturbation, My First AO3 Post, POV Rey (Star Wars), Police Brutality, Protests, Punk Rey, Punk Rock, Rebel Scum, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-05-14 01:29:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14760011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuxBerlin/pseuds/LuxBerlin
Summary: A Star Wars AU set in a world not so different from our present one - the First Order Party rules the country, presidential candidate Snoke is a neo-fascist tyrannt.Rey, Poe, Rose, and Finn set off to join thousands of other "rebel scum" protesting the First Order party convention.Everything is simple, until it's not - when Rey meets First Order bad boy Kylo Ren."You believe in authorityI believe in myselfI'm a Molotov CocktailYou're Dom PerignonBaby, what's that confused look in your eyes?What I'm trying to say is thatI burn down buildingsWhile you sit on a shelf inside of them""Baby I'm an Anarchist" by Against Me





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time posting - I've never shared my stories before, but all of the other incredibly creative and wonderful writers online have inspired me to take this leap of faith.  
> I haven't found any beta readers for this puppy yet, so please forgive me for the grammar mistakes and such...

It's summertime and I'm 9 years old.

I'm standing in front of the television in the basement rec room, watching a Japanese anime film – wide-eyed with an expression of absolute fascination.

The story is about a young girl - raised by wolf gods - who meets a young warrior. Together they fight against a powerful woman and her clan, bent on destroying the forest gods and exploiting nature for their own profit.

The girl is a nobody, but she is also a princess. The young warrior is cursed, but he's incredibly brave and honorable.

I don't remember how or why I ended up watching this movie, but I'm spellbound. Until...“What the hell are you watching girl!” a voice booms from the basement steps, “Turn that TV off right now or I'm going to whoop yer ass!”

It's my foster dad - an overweight, abusive asshole named Plutt and I know well enough, that his threats aren't just for show. With a sad huff my nine year-old self turns the television off and darts for the basement back door, making my escape into the overgrown backyard.

“Get back here you little bitch, I ain't done with you yet!” Plutt hollers, but I'm long gone.

I run as hard and long as I can into the forest and then finally, feeling safe enough I stop to catch my breath. My mind is a buzz with images from the strange movie. Reaching down into a soft puddle of brown mud I paint my face with several slashes and imagine that I'm Princess Mononoke, fighting to save the gods and the world from evil.

* * *

It's memories like this one from my sad, lonely childhood, which I try to focus on. Memories which aren't pleasant, but powerful. Memories which don't simply leave me feeling like a pathetic victim of the system. Moments like these helped mold me into who I am today.

As I sit, crammed into the backseat of my best friend Poe's rusty, old van - surrounded by the people I love - I feel happy.

We're on our way to THE event of the year. The First Order Party Convention is taking place tomorrow and me, my friends, and another couple thousand punks, anarchists, and other “rebel scum” are going to do our best to stop it. We've been driving for days, sleeping on the side of the road and eating...well let's just say the food hasn't been great. Doesn't help that I'm the only vegan in the van – butt of many “hilarious” jokes – but I see the city skyline in the distance and we're almost there.

“Look Rey! We've finally made it!” cries Rose from the front passenger seat. “The squat isn't too far into town, we'll be at Jess' in 20 minutes max!” Poe adds happily.

Finn is asleep, stretched out across the entire middle row of threadbare seats. Reaching over to gently shake his shoulders I whisper, “Wakey, wakey peanut! We've almost made it.” Finn grunts and makes some sort of strange pathetic sounds before sitting up and pulling his hoodie off his head, “OK, I'm awake, let's go! I'm ready!” he claims, eyes still half shut, but with a wide grin on his handsome face. I can't help but laugh. Finn is the best person I know. We both grew up orphans and experienced more than enough childhood trauma to last a lifetime. Finn's adoptive parents were huge supporters of the First Order Party. His entire childhood was spent being indoctrinated and controlled by the neo-fascist party's dogma.

When he was 13 years old, he'd had enough and ran away from home. His “parents” never bothered looking for him. He's been fighting the First Order ever since and is a big part of the resistance movement.

“How are you feeling?” I ask quietly, knowing he gets nervous before these things. Turning around to face me Finn reaches up and cups the back of my head. Leaning towards each other, touching forehead to forehead, he says, “I'm OK. Excited, nervous...OK. Thanks for asking.” with a light kiss to my nose, he turns back around and hollers loudly, “Put the pedal to the metal Poe, I gotta take a piss!”

* * *

True to his word, Poe gets us to the squat in just under 20 minutes.

The big, old dilapidated warehouse is surrounded by factories and faceless storage buildings. It's been converted into a functioning home and gathering point for more than 100 local activists and punks.

As I awkwardly extract myself from the van and make my way inside, I'm blown away by the energy surrounding me. In the barren front yard there are tents set up, trailers parked and several groups spray painting huge cloth banners with various logos and messages for tomorrow's protests. Once inside I can see that more sign-making and prep for tomorrow's big day are underway.

“Rey, Rose! Over here!” I hear suddenly from down the hallway and I look to see my good friend Jess waving me over. “You finally made it! I was starting to worry that you ran into trouble! Where are Finn and Poe?” she asks, looking around.

“They're out front, grabbing our stuff.” replies Rose, “Finn prepared an entire box of paint bombs! Poe wrote up some flyers to distribute...” As Rose continues to chatter away, Jess leads us around a corner and into the huge, communal kitchen – which like the rest of the house – is packed and buzzing with activity. It also smells like REAL food and I can feel my mouth watering, “Jess is there anything here for me to eat? I'm famished!” I beseech her, doing my best puppy dog eyes.

“You're in luck friend! I made a huge pot of my famous chili – vegan friendly – of course!” I let out a little screech of excitement and hug Jess just a little too tightly, “THANK YOU!” I'd survived the last few days on nothing more than my homemade granola bars, banana bread, water, and the odd apple or carrot stick.

Shortly after, with a belly full of warm, delicious food, Jess takes us on a tour of the squat, pointing out the bathrooms, party basement, and then leading us to the room where we'll be sleeping. Jess has built a huge platform bed, with mattresses on top and an old pullout couch underneath.

“Rose and Rey can sleep with me up top and the two of you get the couch.” Jess says with a wink in Poe's direction. “Whaaat?” he whines, “I drove all this way and you're not going to give me any cuddles Jess?!” We all laugh and Finn adds with a grin, “I'll have you know, I can out-cuddle Jess any day man, just ask anyone. Chin up Poe, chin up!”

* * *

Things have quieted down and almost everyone is down in the party basement. There are several bands playing and it seems like no one is worried about getting their beauty sleep tonight.

I'm feeling a little reclusive though and head up to our room for some “me time”. I take the opportunity to have a quick shower in one of the bathrooms. After several days on the road, the warm water feels so good – even if there's next to no water pressure. After drying off I inspect myself quickly in a mirror that's cracked, but still viable.

My chestnut brown hair has gotten so long, all the way past my shoulders! I always keep it simple with an undercut – leaving the hair on top long and just shaving off the sides and lower half. After a quick brush I put the long bits up in a row of three small buns and head back to my room.

There's a fire escape at one of the windows and I crawl out there to sit and watch the stars and random flashing factory lights in the distance. It's almost peaceful and I feel like I'm meditating, when some sudden movement catches my eye.

Down the street, in the shadows behind another abandoned building I see people – lots of people, roughly 50 – sneaking in the direction of the squat. They're all dressed in dark clothes and definitely seem to be trying to go unnoticed. Alarm bells go off in my head and I quickly slide back into the house and run out into the hallway.

I basically slam into Connix, one of Jess' roommates and tell her “I just spotted a gang of 50+ bodies, sneaking in our direction. We need to raise the alarm!” Connix simply nods her head and runs towards the stairs. There, up on the wall, is a red button – she presses it and an alarm (like a school bell) goes off. I wasn't actually expecting a real alarm, but it does the trick – the house suddenly resembles a bee hive and people are making their way to the front yard. Not a second too late either, for the dark mob has arrived and are standing at the front gate looking menacing.

It's the First Order's finest thugs – lead by none other than Armitage Hux: posterboy for the Young First Order. The smarmy red-headed scumbag stands at the head of the crowd with the most vile grin on his face, “Good evening rebel scum. Have we crashed your little party? We heard you were busy getting ready to make a big bang tomorrow at our convention. As you can imagine, I wanted to come by personally and make sure that your efforts are worthy of our attentions.” he sneers.

The First Order group is definitely intimidating – all big, strong, and brutal looking, dressed sleekly in black. They're looking at the rag-tag collection of punks and anarchists in front of them like a wolf might observe it's next meal. I'm still standing on the front steps and look around quickly for some sort of weapon. My eyes fall on a broom, leaning up against the wall and without waiting another moment I grab it and break off the broom head with a quick stomp.

“Why don't you fucking First Order fascists take a hike!” yells Poe, who has made his way to the gate and is standing only a few feet in front of Hux.

“What are you going to do about it degenerate?” asks Hux, “Call the police? I'm fairly certain that goes against your convictions? Oh and I suppose you can't even claim that we are trespassing onto private property, since you don't believe in that either!” The First Order thugs are all laughing now, but then suddenly a beer bottle flies from somewhere in the front yard and clocks Hux right in the head! “What the FUCK!?” he screams and then all hell breaks loose.

The quiet tension only moments ago is replaced by mass chaos. I jump off the steps and rush towards the turmoil, gripping my broomstick like some sort of insane witch. I can hear myself screaming, as I run into the thick of it.

Soon I'm being attacked by a grim, wide-necked FO thug and I don't hesitate to clock him as hard as I can in the head, sending him down to the ground. I twist around to see one of his friends coming at me with a very angry look on his face and I quickly slam my stick with energetic precision into his groin area. His face turns a deep shade of red and then he too falls to his knees.

It's in that moment that I hear Rose screaming. I look around frantically, trying to spot my little friend and I find her caught in a headlock by the tallest woman I've ever seen. She's huge, with chin length white blond hair and cold, blue eyes. She sees me coming for her and with an evil smirk she slams her fist into Rose's crying face. Rose hits the ground hard and a moment later, the blond swiftly kicks her in the gut. I'm absolutely furious, I see red and find myself having an out of body experience, as I kick the shit out of this monster woman.

I completely loose control and I don't stop throttling her until Hux cries out “The police are on their way, First Order to me, retreat!” The blond woman uses the moment to turn and run, jumping over the fence and towards one of two black vans which have suddenly appeared on the street and then just as quickly speed away.

I'm breathing heavily as I squat down to check on Rose, who is laying on the ground unconscious, bleeding from her nose. People all around me are freaking out, but I can hear Poe calling for everyone to calm down and Connix telling us to get inside, before the cops come.

Finn appears beside me suddenly and scoops Rose up, carrying her inside. His nose is a bloody mess, but he otherwise seems unscathed. Together we head upstairs and lay Rose onto the sofa bed. “Holy shit Finn, what the fuck just happened?! Was that for real!?” I sob quietly. I'm in shock and shaking everywhere.

“It's OK Rey, calm down. Shhh...calm down.” Finn whispers into my ear, holding me close for a moment. “We have to take care of Rose, I need your help, OK?” he asks. “Of course, Rose...she needs our help.” I babble and I feel myself slowly calming down again.

We carefully check her head for injuries and then her back and stomach. She has a big bruise forming in her stomach area, her nose is bleeding and she'll definitely be sporting a massive black eye tomorrow. “Rose honey, can you hear me, Rose?” Finn is trying to get Rose to respond and slowly her eyes flutter and open a bit. “Where am I? Huh...why does my head hurt so much?” she asks with a crooked smile. “Typical Rose, get your ass kicked and then smile about it?” I cry / laugh, gently reaching down to hug my friend.

We sit her up, “You can't go to sleep Rose. You might have a concussion. We have to get you to the hospital.” Finn says and then turns to me, “I'd take her in a heartbeat, but I look a bit worse for wear myself. And well...a beat up looking black man bringing a seriously beat up woman into the ER – isn't the best combo, if you know what I mean!?” I nod my head, he's right, “Of course, I'll take her. I'll take the van, I'm sure there are more patients who will need a ride.”

And so within 30 minutes I'm driving up to the ER with a van load of sad looking punks. I sit with Rose in the waiting room and we try to pass the time and keep her awake by reading crap to each other from the old, floppy Reader's Digests.

We even play a few rounds of Date-Marry-Shag with random celebrities and fictional characters, “OK Rey...” wiggling with her eyebrows, “What about Professor Snape?” she says with a giggle. Rose is a huge Harry Potter nerd and I know what her answer will be, “Well, I know you'd marry him, because you love him.” I respond in my silliest voice, “But I'm a naughty girl and would have to say SHAG, because he's far too emotional for me.”

Just then a nurse calls Rose's name and I help her up. “I'll be out in a few minutes with an update, please wait here.” the nurse says matter-of-factly as Rose disappears behind the milky sliding glass doors.

* * *

Fast forward about an hour and I'm still waiting. I've curled up into a ball in a quiet, dark corner of the room and am trying to rest when I hear a voice that catches my attention.

Standing at the front information desk is a tall, dark haired man. He's wearing all black and looks pretty bad ass from behind. Although I can't make out what he is saying to the nurse, I can hear his voice. It's deep, commanding, and incredibly sexy.

The nurse shakes her head and points him in the direction of the waiting area. I can hear him audibly grumble as he turns to head towards a free seat. He is gorgeous! His shoudler length, sable hair is so soft and silky looking. His face isn't what you would call traditionally handsome, but still strikingly beautiful. Big, dark soulful eyes; a long, strong nose, and big, soft, kissable lips.

I'm actually kind of grossed out by myself as I gawk at this complete stranger and fantasize about what it would feel like to kiss him.

Only seconds later my reverie is broken by the sound of my name being called “Rey Jakku. REY JAKKU!” It's the nurse, who promised me she'd update me in a few minutes.

“Ummm...here I am!” I say as I make my way over to the front desk. “Your friend Rose is OK, but will be staying here tonight for observation. You can come by tomorrow morning and pick her up. Good night.” and without another word she turns on her heel and disappears back into the ER. “Ahhh...OK, thanks!” I chirp and then turn around to find HIM looking right at ME!

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every fucking day our cities tell us what they think of justice.  
> They lock the courageous away  
> As the cowards plaster the cracks spreading through the monolith.  
> But if this man isn't freed, this city burns.
> 
> "Bullshit politicians" by Propaghandi

I've escaped to the bathroom. Mainly because I really had to pee. But also, I needed to freak out about the LOOK I just got from the man of my dreams!

Let's just say, it was intense. I could feel his gaze on my skin and I have never been closer to self-combustion than in that moment!

I realize that I haven't looked at myself in a mirror since after dinner and so I quickly take a peek while hiding in the ladies room.

My hair is still up in my oddball triple buns and considering how tired I feel, my face isn't looking half bad. I reach into the pouch hanging from my belt and fish out my lip balm. “A little something extra can't hurt, right?” I wink to my reflection cheekily.

Exiting the ladies room I head back to the waiting area and I'm in for a shock. There I find THE blond monster bitch, Hux and my dreamboat standing together talking!

The blond monster isn't looking so great and I can tell she got a few stitches along her cheek. Hux has a white bandage wrapped around his head and is talking in a low snivel to the tall, dark, handsome man. “Phasma was supposed to stay overnight for observation, but I told them that she would be well taken care of at home. We need you tomorrow Phasma, this isn't the right time to tap out!” he snaps at the beast.

Then I hear HIM, “Hux, I will not allow you to put the health of Phasma nor yourself at risk for the fucking convention. If she needs to stay here, then she should!” Phasma chirps in and says something I can't understand and then they all head towards the doors.

Without much thought to why, I follow them out into the parking lot. They all head for a sleek, black luxury sedan – not far from where I've parked the van. Mr. Dreamboat (now my enemy) opens the front door of the car and Hux makes to sit down, but is stopped as HE ushers the she-devil, aka. Phasma into the front seat. I can hear Hux whining about having shotgun, but then I close the van door and start the engine.

I've decided I'm going to follow these First Order morons and see where they're staying. My adrenaline is pumping and I'm feeling excited, but also really sad. I don't know why, but the fact that HE is one of THEM is a huge bummer to say the least.

As they pull out of the parking lot, I follow shortly behind and manage to follow them into the city and up to a very posh looking condominium. I write down the address and then make my way back across town to the squat.

I arrive to find the house quiet. Only a handful of people are sitting up in the kitchen, including Finn, Poe, Connix, and Jess. I'm welcomed with a round of kind words and hugs. I tell them what the nurse told me about Rose and then about Hux and co.

I leave out the part where I fall in love with the tall, dark stranger, but Connix knows immediately who I'm talking about, “That sounds exactly like Kylo fucking Ren!” and my heart sinks.

Kylo Ren is the baddest bad guy in the First Order. He's not a figurehead like Hux or their leader Snoke, which is why I'd never seen his picture before. He's a behind the scenes mover and shaker. Head of their special security team and notorious for kicking the shit out of people who try to get in the way of the First Order - people like me.

“Well, I followed them home. Here's the address they're staying at.” I say, handing Connix the piece of paper, “I don't know if it can help, but I thought I'd write it down in case.” Connix's face lights up, “Yes Rey, this is awesome! Thanks!”

Jess, Poe, Finn, and I make our way to bed, we're all totally exhausted. I notice that Jess and Poe are holding hands and giving off a really special vibe, “Umm...Finn, maybe I'll crash with you on the sofa bed tonight?” I suggest and he simply nods his head with a grin, “OK Rey.”

Unfortunately for us, the pull out sofa is about as comfortable as one would expect. “What is with these things and the springs!?” Finn huffs, “Are you going to be able to sleep peanut?” he adds quietly. “I dunno. Tonight was intense and tomorrow...it's going to be hardcore too.”

Finn responds by wrapping me up into his arms and nestling up to me. “Shhh...it'll all be good. Get some rest.” And so I do finally manage to drift off to sleep with the sound of Finn's steady breathing and Jess and Poe's somewhat more sporadic breathing in the background.

* * *

 

_I wake up and feel panicked. I'm in a dark, strange room. I can't move my arms or legs. I've been shackled to some sort of upright table. I can hear someone breathing in the shadows; loud, mechanical breathing._

_Taking a step out from the shadows, a tall, dark, and menacing figure stands just an arms length away from me. I can't see their face, it's hidden beneath a strange, robotic mask. “Where am I?” I ask, trying not to sound as panicked as I feel._

_“You're my guest.” the masked creature replies. “Where are the others?” I wonder aloud, thinking of Finn, Poe, and Jess. “You mean the murderers, traitors and_ _thieves you call friends? You'll be relieved to hear that I have no idea.” reaching up, unlatching something, the mask is removed. The man behind the mask is Kylo Ren!_

_“What do you want from me!? Why am I here?” I shout at him. My heart is racing, but I can't stop staring at his beautiful face._

_“You know what I want.” he whispers, leaning in towards my neck. “You know I can take whatever I want.”_

_I can smell him and feel his warm breath on my ear. He reaches up, nearly touching my face, “Don't be afraid. I feel it too.”_

_My breathing is heavy and my knees are shaking, not out of fear, but longing. I wait with bated breath - willing him to kiss me, ravage me - I turn my head to look into his dark gaze and suddenly I'm falling._

_Falling into the darkness of his eyes..._

* * *

I'm startled awake and realize I'd just been dreaming.

An incredibly realistic and extremely twisted dream, “What the fuck!?” I wonder aloud, rolling over to find that I'm alone.

I'm about to ask myself where Finn has gone off to, when I hear them. The platform bed above me is creaking and shaking steadily and I hear Jess moaning, “Fiiiinnn....YES! Please, yes!”

I stick my head under a pillow and try to stifle a laugh as I hear Poe and Finn both grunting loudly. The three of them are having a wonderful time just above my head and considering the dream I just had, I can't help but feel a little jealous.

Reaching down beneath the comforter I slip my hand underneath my panties. My eyes are closed and my mind drifts away from the sex happening above my head and instead I see him – _Kylo Ren. He's watching me touch myself and he's licking his soft, full lips. I beckon silently to him and his drifts over to me. His huge strong hands descend upon me and he is touching and kissing me all over my body._ It doesn't take long and I feel the familiar tug in my belly as an orgasm shakes through me.

I don't bother opening my eyes and just roll over, letting myself fall off into a satisfied, dreamless sleep.

* * *

 

“Come on beautiful, wakey, wakey – beans and bakey!” Poe chirps happily and when I look at the time on my watch I groan, “It's 4:30 am! What the kriff Poe?!” I grunt in his direction as he bounces up and down at the end of the lumpy sofa bed, “Just get up Rey, there's been a change of plans.”

I feel as if I went to bed only minutes ago and don't have the slightest idea why I'm already up. Rolling out of bed, I reach for my backpack and fish out fresh underwear.

I brought my lucky underwear just for today. I always wear them on important days like today. They have a glittery star on the front and the backside has a glittery rainbow across it. I found them in the bargain bin at the children's clothes department once. Luckily for me and my scrawny, little butt - I still fit into kids clothes and hence, have the best underwear ever. I also fish out a fresh pair of black jeans, black t-shirt and slip into my Animal Liberation Front hoodie.

Downstairs I find Jess sipping on a cup of coffee, whilst casually lounging on Poe's lap – seeming way too happy - considering she isn't normally a morning person. “Good morning!” she smiles in my direction, “Coffee's made, help yourself and you'll find some soy milk and granola just over there.”

After a few sips of strong, black coffee I feel plucky enough to poke some fun at my friends, “You two had fun last night. I was a little worried about your platform bed though Jess. You did build it yourself and well, you coulda killed me.” I say with a deadpan look on my face. I can see the blush spreading across Jess' features and down her neck.

“Aww...girl, sorry...did we keep you up?” Poe asks, obviously feeling no shame in his game and grinning wildly. “You know, you could've just joined us. The more the merrier, right honey?” he winks at me before planting a kiss on Jess' neck.

Before I have time to think of a comeback, Connix and Finn arrive in the kitchen, “Good, you're all here. I'm sorry for waking you so early, but I need your help.” Connix explains, “Rey, your discovery from last night needs to be exploited. We know where several First Order key figures are staying and can send them a friendly little message before their big day even begins.”

This is when Finn takes over, “We are going to head to the condominium and try to sneak into the parking lot. Rey knows what car they were driving last night, so we can tamper with it a little bit and also leave a few other friendly reminders to those fascist scumbags, that they're not welcome here or anywhere.”

Without any delay Poe, Finn, and I head for the van. Jess stays behind in order to pick up Rose from the hospital later and Connix is in charge of getting all the others (who are luckily still in their warm, cozy beds!) organized.

“It's just us three – the original dream team!” Poe says with a wink as we drive away. It's still dark, but the birds are singing, so we know dawn will be breaking soon. We don't talk much during the drive, but prepare.

I've got my belt pouch on and I'm armed with my pocket knife, sharpies, cell phone, and driver's license.

Our plan so far is non-existent, because we haven't really had time to hash anything out and neither Finn nor Poe have had a chance to check out the building. After a short drive, we arrive at the upscale condominium and park across the street. Pointing out the underground parking I begin to brainstorm, “That's where they pulled in last night. What if we sneak in there, find Kylo Ren's car, and slash his tires?”

Poe and Finn nod in agreement, “I've got some spraypaint, we can leave a little message for our friends and then maybe even screw with the garage door system,” Finn adds.

Poe stays at the van – he's our lookout and get away driver. Finn and I exit the van, both pulling our hoodies up over our heads and drift towards the garage door.Just a few feet away from the entrance there's a bus stop bench, which is where we take our place and wait.

As luck would have it, we don't have to wait long and the garage door slowly opens - a fancy looking sports car speeds past us and down the street. We don't hesitate, both jumping up quickly to make our way into the underground parking lot.

Pulling up dark handkerchiefs over our mouths we silently make our way through the rows of luxury cars. It's a good thing I remember the license plate number, because there are several black Mercedes parked here and after only a few minutes I spot Kylo Ren's car. Pointing to it silently I sneak towards it, while Finn heads towards a nearby wall and starts his graffiti masterpiece.

I duck down beside Kylo's car and get out my knife. I slash the front right tire and it makes a loud bang as the air escapes. “Kriff!” I curse under my breath while silently shimmying towards the back tires. I'm slashing the second tire when I hear him, “HEY, stop! What the fuck do you think you're doing asshole!?”

It's Kylo Ren!

I carefully sneak a peek over the top of the car and spot him striding towards Finn, who has dropped his spraypaint and is looking for the best escape route, “Look man, just back off!” he shouts and then looking my way, signals that I should get moving.

What happens next is like a dream – a blur – all happening so quickly, none of us have time to think. Kylo Ren is faster than anyone I've ever seen, landing a hard punch on Finn's face and then slamming him against the wall he'd just been spraypainting. He must be some sort of marshal arts master, because he lands several more punches and kicks in a matter of seconds.

Turning quickly he spots me and I'm not sure whether I should run or help Finn. I feel frozen, but then my adrenaline rush hits me and with my knife in my hand I rush towards him screaming, “ASSHOLE, leave my friend alone!!!”

He rushes towards me slamming into me and sending me into the hood of his car. Still coming at me, I use my legs to kick at him, landing a few hits until his huge grip has my feet and then I panic.

I swing at him and my knife slices across his face!

I completely loose my shit – he's also shocked and drops my ankles – I take my chance and bolt past him. Finn has just managed to stand up and I grab him by the shoulders, “We have to get out of here NOW!” I blurt out, while rushing us towards the exit.

I don't dare look back and it isn't until we're in the van and driving away that I realize I'm about to be sick.

My head is spinning and all I see is Kylo Ren's shocked expression and the blood! “Oh my god, what have I done!!??”

I'm screaming and sobbing to myself in the backseat. Both Finn and Poe are trying to calm me down, but I just loose it. “His face, I cut him – I could go to jail! I'm a vegan!”

We drive and drive for what seems like forever, until we pull into a random parkade downtown. I'm still freaking out, but can feel both Poe and Finn holding me, trying to help me calm down. “Shhh...peanut, it's OK. We're here, you're safe. Tell us what happened.”

Slowly, but surely my panic starts to lessen and I stop hysterically sobbing enough to tell them.

After a moment of silence Poe finally says, “OK, this isn't good, but you had your faces covered, so he didn't see you.” We nod in agreement, but I'm still not confident that it makes much difference.

“Let's get you into some new clothes and figure out what happens next.” Poe decides, climbing back into the driver's seat.

We haven't heard any police sirens and so we carefully make our way back home. Finn stays by my side, holding me and stroking my hands - soothing my fears in the silent way only friends can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm also on Tumblr: luxberlin  
> Come by and say hi.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They'll try to sell their system  
> Like it's some kind of age-old wisdom,  
> But we've been had like that before,  
> It's just the rich exploiting the poor.  
> Well here's an honest confession,  
> We think it's time they learnt a lesson.  
> They've tried to hold the people down,  
> But we've simply gone underground,  
> Moving in the darkness looking for the light,  
> Looking for a future and ready to fight.
> 
> "You're Already Dead" by CRASS

It's still early once we get back, but more people are up. We talk with Connix and Jess up in the privacy of Jess' room and tell them what happened.

“What did you do with your knife?” Connix asks, “We need to get rid of it and Finn you should lay low today. Even with your face covered, you'll be more easily recognized. Kylo Ren might even be familiar with you, since your a well known resistance member.” Finn looks really disappointed, but Jess tries to cheer him up, “You can stay here and keep Rose company once she's back!”

Everyone agrees that once I change my clothes, I should be OK at the main demonstration. “There will be thousands of demonstrators and if you stay away from the black bloc, you should be fine.”

My mind is in shock and so, despite it all, I start getting ready to go. I change into a new pair of pants, change my shirt and sweatshirt, trading it for my black vegan leather jacket and put on a pair of Jess' old sneakers. The main demonstration starts at 10am, which leaves me time to eat some breakfast and drink more coffee. I can't stomach any food though and spend the next hour sitting in the busy kitchen staring into the distance.

I can't get Kylo Ren's face out of my head. I feel completely disgusted and I'm about to start crying again, when I hear a familiar voice. Rose enters the kitchen and heads straight for me, “Rey! I heard what happened - come here!” and before I can say anything she has me in a tight, warm hug. It's exactly what I need and we spend the next several minutes holding each other quietly.

Pulling me to the side Rose takes my hands and gives me one of her deep, meaningful glances, “Rey, you know you don't have to go out today. If you are feeling upset, just stay here.” her glance is unflinching, “Don't beat yourself up for what happened. Kylo Ren is a bad, bad man working for the worst kind of people. Did I ever told you about my sister Paige?”

I've known Rose for just over a year and heard her talk about Paige plenty of times, but nothing specific. “She was my best friend and well...the First Order killed her.” I'm shocked and just a little confused, why Rose hadn't told me this before? “My sister was the smartest and bravest woman I've ever known. She fought hard against the First Order and it cost her her life. She died in an accident – she'd been following Snoke's motorcade on her motorcycle – she was sideswiped...the police said it was her own fault...but...but I'm sure there was more to it...” Rose is close to tears, but her gaze is intense, “Rey, you were only defending yourself and Finn. Kylo Ren doesn't deserve your pity!”

We embrace one another again and although, I still feel awful, Rose's words have helped me get over the worst of it. “I think I need to do this today. I'm going to go.” finally noticing in her bruised face and fat lip, “Look at your beautiful face Rose! That she-monster Phasma better not cross my path today...”

Rose rolls her eyes and laughs at me, “Rey! You might have a problem, girl, you can't go kicking the entire First Order's butts in one day – take it easy!”

* * *

The main demonstration has been organized by none other than Leia Organa, the leader of the Democratic Resistance Party.

She's spent her entire life in politics, fighting the powers that be – an original bad ass – managing to combine civil disobedience, politics, and pop culture unlike anyone else. Uniting the mainstream resistance and more extreme left-wing – calling them all together to fight for her cause.

Her influence is apparent as Jess and I walk amongst the thousands gathered together, only blocks away from the First Order convention. There are families with kids, senior citizen groups, and people from every walk of life here today.

Most of the signs are expressing frustration about the First Order's militaristic methods and fear mongering, but there are also signs focusing on a more positive way of thinking: HOPE NOT HATE – PUT PEOPLE FIRST – WE STAND TOGETHER!

I let the positive energy spur me on and find Jess and myself walking in the front rows of the massive demonstration. The sun is shining and we're both grinning like fools as the crowd starts to chant:

_“The people! United! Will never be defeated!”_

I feel someone beside me link their arm with mine and I look over to see HER – Leia Organa – smiling at me while chanting along with the crowd.

I'm shocked and pleasantly surprised; the figurehead of the resistance is here, leading by example and not afraid to walk arm-in-arm with the rest of us.

Once we arrive at the official endpoint – a large square in the center of the city – Leia is swept away by some security types and shows up only moments later on a large stage. She's joined by Amilyn Holdo, who is currently one of the First Order's harshest critics in mainstream media. Most of the protesters have made it to the square and the noise is incredible – the sound of thousands of people coming together, chanting, talking, moving and then the sudden silence as Leia Organa steps forward, raising her hands towards the crowd.

_"Good morning everyone! Thank you for joining me here today. This is amazing! I have a question for each and every one of you here today: are you ready to shake up this world?!"_

 

The crowd is roaring.

 

 _"Well, welcome to the revolution of love._ _Welcome to_ _the rebellion!"_

 

The noise is incredible, but all it takes is a small movement of Leia's hand and the noise ceases.

 

_"So I’m going to get a little serious here, because I think we can all agree that we're all here for one reason and that reason is to fight. Fight this new age of tyranny. Where not only marginalized people and the weak are endangered, but each and every one of us._

_Where people uniquely different might be considered criminal , where every step outside the box can be your last._

_It seems as though we have all slipped into a false sense of comfort that justice will prevail and good always wins in the end._

_Every person on this planet shares a common humanity, we all want our children to grow up healthy, to have a good education, have decent jobs, drink clean water and breathe clean air, and to live in peace. That’s what being human is about. In the end it's all about love and we need to make love our priority!_

_We need a change to happen. Are you all willing to do something about it? These changes will require sacrifice, these changes will require us all to take action and become the revolution. A revolution of love, acceptance, and togetherness._

_As the poet, W.H. Auden once wrote many moons ago : We must love one another or die. I choose love. Are you with me?_

_Say this with me: We choose love! We choose love! We choose love!"_

The sound of everyone joined together chanting is deafening. Jess, who is almost never dumbstruck, is standing there with tears in her eyes and her mouth gapping open.

I would be lying if I said I didn't feel it too, but I also feel something else. As much as I want to believe that her words of hope, justice, and love are true – I know we need to do more. It's then that I'm struck with the realization that we are miles away from the “bad guys”. We're protesting, but still allowing them to come together and plot the downfall of our democracy. I need to get out of here – I need to go stir up some real trouble.

* * *

 

“Where are you going Rey!?” Jess is hollering, out of breath after chasing me for several minutes, “STOP RIGHT NOW REY!” We've left the demonstration area and are in some random side street heading west towards the First Order Convention. “WHAT JESS!?” I huff loudly, turning to face my confused friend.

“Rey, remember what happened this morning? Remember how afraid you were?” she says, rolling her big brown eyes, “Are you planning on taking on the First Order on your own now?!” The truth is that I know she's right, I am behaving very erratically, but I feel certain that I need to be somewhere else right now – fighting, doing something other than chanting about change and hope.

“I'm sorry Jess.” I take her hands in my own, “You're right, but I just can't stand by and chant for change. I need to do something.”  Jess is staring down at our hands and then she nods, “You're right Rey. You're right – let's go fuck shit up!”

* * *

 

Once we get closer to the convention center, we have to watch out. There are helicopters overhead, scanning the area and riot police around every corner. We hop several fences and take shortcuts through various backyards and parking lots.

While we were at the demonstration the rest of our friends had been busy trying to make their way to the convention center - creating a blockade and the news online seems a bit sketchy. Some posts claim the black bloc made it through and others write about an intense police presence and brutal street fights.

We can smell a slight hint of smoke mixed with tear gas in the air, but we push on anyway. I hear Jess exclaim “We're getting so close!” as she shimmys her way up a brick wall and jumps over. Then I hear something else – the sound of barking dogs and a loud voice, “STOP RIGHT THERE! PUT YOUR HANDS UP! THIS IS THE POLICE, I REPEAT PUT YOUR HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM!”

My first impulse is to jump the wall and help my friend, but I also know that if she's surrounded by the police, there isn't a lot I can do – so I wait.

I can still hear the loud, authoritative voice and I also hear Jess, she sounds calm and I think she's trying to send me a message, “YES, YES! I HAVE MY HANDS UP, FOR FUCKS SAKE! I'M NOT BLIND – I CAN SEE THAT I'M SURROUNDED BY POLICE!!!”

I quietly creep backwards into a nearby corner and hide behind an old dumpster – just in the knick of time – as a police officer dressed in riot gear hops over the wall, followed by several others and they begin to sweep the courtyard.

I'm absolutely certain that they will discover me at any moment, but I'm frozen. Why hadn't we just stayed put? Why am I such a kriffing idiot? Jess was now possibly being arrested and for what?! I feel like such a class act fool – crouching behind a greasy, old dumpster – I realize that I will never stop the First Order. All I'll end up doing is putting my friends and myself at risk of loosing the small bit of freedom we have.

* * *

I'm not sure how long I've been hiding and I think I might have cried myself to sleep for a little bit.

At some point I realize that I can't feel my legs and I try to stand up, but end up doing a face plant into the brick wall. “Damnit!” I taste my own blood and carefully hobble out from behind the dumpster. It's getting dark again, which means I must have been hiding for a quite some time.

After taking a moment to catch my bearings, I hop up and over the wall – landing on the street, where Jess had been taken by the police. There is no one there now. It's eerily quiet and I slowly make my way down the street.

I actually have no idea where I'm going, I'm basically just following my instincts. Perhaps I'm still in shock from this morning, maybe I'm just out of it – but I just don't really care – I just keep moving. After about 10 minutes I look up and see that I am behind the arena. I'm only steps away from the chain link fence separating me from the First Order convention.

I have no plan, no weapons, and I'm completely alone. The first rule about going into any dangerous situation is STICK TOGETHER – travel in pairs – but here I am, earnestly considering jumping the fence and sneaking my way into the First FUCKING Order Convention!

I've hit a new low, but don't seem to care, because I'm climbing the fence! I take off my jacket and use it to slip over the barbed wire bits at the top of the fence. I quickly scan my surroundings and can't spot any security cameras. I consider it a lucky break and run towards the nearest form of cover, which happens to be yet another dumpster. It's hard to get a good feel for my surroundings while behind a giant garbage can, so I creep along the shadows until I reach a pile of big boxes.

Suddenly I hear a noise and a large door opens, only an arms length away. “God damn Tony, you gotta be shitting me” moans a large, nondescript guy holding a big garbage bag while talking on his phone. He's also smoking a cigarette and turns towards one the dumpsters across the way, so I jump and run for the door, which is slowly closing again and I slip through an into a dark corridor.

I seem to have stumbled into the catering area, somewhere in the depths of the huge convention center complex. I can hear the noises of people working in a kitchen, but find myself alone in the long, dark hallway.

I keep moving, because I know eventually my luck will run out and I'll be discovered. After slipping quietly past several open doors I sneak into an empty staircase. I climb several floors and then peek out of a doorway. The hallway beyond is carpeted and well lit, but silent.

Before I step out I take a moment to think, what the hell am I doing here?! I have no plan and very few options. I can sense panic bubbling up deep inside me and I'm about to turn and flee back down the stairs, when I hear voices coming from below me. In a rush I slip out the door and into the hallway, walking hastily away from the staircase.

I need to get out of here, I need to...SMACK! I collide into something massive and hard – looking up I realize that it isn't a wall – I've walked straight into Kylo Ren.

The look he gives me is incredulous, but I don't sense any sort of recognition. There is no time to process it all though, because I feel his hand touching my shoulder beside my neck and a moment later I'm out.

* * *

When I come to I feel a cool breeze drifting across my face. I open my eyes to see the air vent in the ceiling above me and that's when I notice Kylo Ren standing in the doorway of this small room or big closet?

“Who are you?” he asks me, “I feel like I've seen you before and I know for a fact that you've smuggled your way in here uninvited.” I feel lightheaded and I'm afraid that I might pass out again, so I lay back down and close my eyes for a moment. I hear him move towards me and then I feel a gloved hand gently touch my cheek, “You look pale. Rest here, I'll be right back. The door will be locked.”

When I open my eyes again, he's gone – I'm alone. I sit up and go to the door, which really is locked. Pacing around the tiny room, I try not to panic.

Then I hear the door being unlocked and Kylo reappears. “Here, I brought you some water.” he says handing me a bottle of water, “Drink.” I take the bottle and do as told, taking big greedy sips while continuing to walk back and forth in the small space.

His big, brown eyes follow me silently, seemingly burning into my skin. “Look – I'm sorry I wandered into your little party here. It was a mistake. Actually I was just about to leave, when I bumped into you.” I babble on, not daring to look in his direction, “If you could just show me out, I will be on my way and you can go back to whatever it is you do...”

Wordlessly he takes a step towards me and looking up I see that he is only inches away from me. His face is no longer impassive – his eyes have darkened and I can see pulse in his throat - “It's you!” he says in his deep, calm voice, “You were in the underground parking this morning. That's why you seem so familiar.”

I'm a little taken aback by the fact that he hasn't body-slammed me into the floor or something more drastic, considering the implications of his realization. Swallowing heavily I look him in the eyes, “Look, this morning was an accident. I never wanted to hurt anyone. I just wanted to help my friend...it was an accident. I'm...I'm...so sorry.” I can feel my cheeks reddening with shame and embarrassment. Kylo's jaw twitches and his gaze in unfaltering, causing me to unconsciously take a few steps back from him.

“The cut wasn't deep. But you know I can't just let you leave.” I can feel my throat tightening, as a new wave of panic builds. “Please, please don't call the cops. I...I...” Kylo's expression softens, but also shows a kind of contempt, “No. No cops. I like to sort things out my way.” he says nonchalantly with a subtle smirk.

I've completely backed away from him now and  hit the wall on the far side of the room. “Or you could just call the cops...” is the last thing I manage to blurt out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suck so hard at writing speeches - so for Leia's speech I was inspired by Madonna at the Women's March in Washington, D.C.  
> I'm not even a Madonna fan - but it was a good speech - so I borrowed parts of it. Thanks Madonna!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You see me and you laugh out loud  
> You taunt me from safe inside your crowd  
> My looks, they must threaten you  
> To make you act the way you do  
> RED, I'M SEEING RED
> 
> "Seeing Red" by Minor Threat

Kylo Ren's voice is eerily calm as he speaks to me, “You need to calm down. What's your name?”

Easier said than done – I am stuck somewhere in the depths of the First Order Party convention, alone with Kylo Ren - the man whose face I slashed only this morning! I can feel my panic growing and only manage to growl “I'm not telling you my name, you monster!”

There's a knock at the door and Hux appears. “What is the meaning of this Ren!?” scoffs Hux while looking down his pointy, pale nose at me, “Who is this?” Without as much as a word Kylo Ren ushers Hux back through the door and closes it behind him.

I can hear the two men talking, but can't make out their words. I try to use the moment alone in order to figure out how I'm going to get myself out of this mess. The room is windowless and the only way out is through the door....Unless I could get up to the air vent in the ceiling!? We've all seen it a done a hundred times in the movies – people crawling through ventilation systems and into freedom – it must be possible, right?!

My train of thought is interrupted by Kylo Ren's return. Hux is gone and we're alone again. “I hope you've managed to calm down. You'd make this a lot easier if you cooperate.” he grumbles.

“Why should I talk to you at all? You're holding me in some sort of closet, against my will. I'm not telling you anything.” I can feel my anger rising up and my cheeks feel flush.

“Very well.” Kylo replies nonchalantly. “I'll tell you what I know. You smuggled yourself into a private gathering, after starting off your day by sneaking into my building, damaging my private property and then taking a slice at my face.” Moving away from me again he turns and leans into the wall on the other side of the small space. “I also suspect that you were at the fight that broke out last night and left several of my...collegues gravely injured.”

I can hear a dark tremor in his voice and sense that he is angry, very angry. “Yet here you are, calling me a monster! I will not have it! You will cooperate and tell me who you are!” And with that he sends his fist through the wall in front of him with a loud bang. Turning towards me his eyes shine with a sort of manic intensity. He doesn't move any closer, but stares me down, which leaves me feeling all sorts of feelings. I'm afraid and apprehensive, my heart is pounding in my ears, but I also feel a strange sense of empathy towards him. He's right. Who am I to judge him, when I'm the one who's been kicking ass all day, getting my friends in trouble and sneaking around?

Kylo is rubbing his fist and sits down on the chair beside me. His gaze returns to my face and looks softer than it did only moments ago.

“What is your name scavenger?” His face is so close that I can see that his dark eyes, which seem almost black from afar, are actually a warm shade of brown, with golden specks towards the inside. I also have a good look at the cut on his face from this morning. It's obviously been treated by doctors with expertise, because you would hardly have guessed that is was so fresh and will most likely heal nicely with little scarring.

“My name is Rey.” I finally admit, looking him in the eyes.

“Rey Jakku.” he replies with a look of clarity, “You were at the hospital last night.” I simply nod and look down at my hands. Last night seems like a lifetime ago. “You were in the waiting room. I saw you.” he almost whispers. We spend the next few minutes in silence.

“Why did you sneak in here tonight Rey Jakku? What were you hoping to achieve? Alone, unarmed, without a plan?” I can hear the loathing in his voice and it makes me feel angry, “I don't know what I was thinking ok!? All I know is the First Order is the perfect example for what's wrong with this world and needs to be stopped!” My voice is shaky, but I don't stop. “How can you live with yourself, fighting to protect such evil? The First Order would like nothing more than to rid the world of all weakness, softness and diversity. It's all black, white, and darkness for you! I want a world of color, light, shadow, and emotion!” I can feel the tears rolling down my face and when I look into Kylo Ren's eyes, I see something there, something other than disdain. His eyes are shining and I can tell he feels it too.

“Life isn't all about rainbows, love, peace, and happiness.” he sighs. “The First Order aims to bring structure to disorder, discipline to chaos.” He closes his eyes for a moment, then stands up, pacing around the small room. Finally stopping in front of me, he reaches down and takes my chin in his hand. I feel myself flinch at his touch, but don't look away. We stare intensely into each others eyes and I swear I feel a sudden connection to this dark, disturbing man. I sense an inner conflict, a storm of emotion within him and I feel the familiar ache of loneliness. Stepping back suddenly, Kylo lets go of my chin and I can tell by the shocked look on his face, that whatever I was just feeling, he felt it too.

“I grew up with a family - with parents who wanted to make the world a better place – full of light and love. But they failed. They were so busy worrying about making the rest of the world a better place, that they forgot about everything and everyone else.” he finally exclaims with a venomous tone. “They were selfish. Their world view is selfish – it's about instant gratification and you're fooling yourself, if you think otherwise. The First Order isn't about what we each want, it's about achieving something for the greater good. Self-sacrifice and commitment.” There is something about the way he says this, the haunted, sad look in his eyes that makes me want to cry again. “Excuse me for a moment.” Kylo says turning away and once again I'm alone.

* * *

I sit in a bit of a daze until I realize that I ought to be trying to get out of here. I check the door, which is still locked and then I look up to the ceiling.

I climb up onto the small leather sofa I've been sitting on and realize that it isn't high enough for me, “Kriff! What now?” I scan the room and see the simple chair Kylo had been sitting on. I jump down, grab the chair and place it carefully on the sofa. Not a very stable setup, but it's my only option, so what the heck?

Warily I climb onto the chair and SUCSESS! I can touch the ceiling! It's your typical, office building drop ceiling and it doesn't take much for me to remove the vent cover above my head. I take a deep breath in and then pull myself up. All is well until I get my head in the ventilation duct and realize that unlike the movies, which always make it look like they're spacious enough for grown adults to crawl through, these real life ones are way too small for me to fit into! Actually I might fit into the space, but I can't imagine how I would be able to move and just the idea of being cramped into this dark, metal space is enough to make me want to scream.

Unfortunately for me it's right in this moment that I hear the chair fall over off the sofa and onto the floor below me. I'm officially screwed.

* * *

I don't even want to think about what I must look like, head and shoulders stuck in the ceiling and legs left dangling. It must be funny though, because I hear the door open and then a loud, dark chuckle. “What the hell are you doing up there?” Kylo inquires coolly. “Are you stuck?”

That laugh! Can't believe Mr. Serious has decided to sprout a sense of humor suddenly. “This is not funny Kylo Ren! Please help me get out of here!” My voice has developed a slightly hysterical edge and I feel like I'm running out of fresh oxygen. “HELP ME!” I squeak. I feel his hand reaching up to grab my legs, running up my calf muscles and past my knees – then I feel him pull and I let go and fall straight into his arms.

He's holding me like it's no big deal and he's smiling.

The way his face lights up when he smiles is incredible. I can't help but laugh and smile back. We spend the next several minutes laughing and he doesn't put me down. I don't mind though. I can feel his broad, solidness underneath his black suit and dress shirt. He also smells incredible. Not artificial or heavily perfumed – just a nice musky freshness that reminds me of a seaside forest.

“Rey. You need to leave. I've kept you here too long. I apologize.” he says softly while placing me back on my own two feet. He reaches over and opens the door and then gestures for me to follow him. Placing his hand on my arm he guides me down a long hallway and around a corner to some elevators. I can feel his hand on my arm. His warmth radiates through my jacket sleeve and I want him to reach down and touch my hand. Just thinking this makes me giggle, considering I'd just been trying to stuff myself into a heating vent in order to escape him. Oh well, I seem to have temporarily lost my mind or perhaps I'm suffering from Stockholm syndrome!?

“Hey, I'm sorry for causing you such trouble today - all of it. Thank you for not calling the cops and for being so open with me.” I look into his eyes while telling him this, but they've once again returned to their regular, unreadable, guarded state. “I know we don't see eye to eye, but I hope you will rethink your involvement with the First Order. The harmony and security you seek can be achieved without the oppression of a political party.”

Just then the elevator doors open and I feel my stomach drop. “Good evening my dear boy. Is this the street urchin Hux was telling me about?” Snoke says stepping out of the elevator. “I assume you called the police?”

I can't believe my eyes, I'm was standing only a step away from the leader of the First Order – one of the most loathed men in the world – and yet all I can do is gawk.

“Yes sir. I informed the police and took her information. She will be in our system records.” Kylo fibs. I feel startled, but Kylo's grip on my arm tightens quickly and I know intrinsically that he's trying to send me a sign.

“Well you sad little creature. What have you got to say for yourself?” Snoke spits in my direction, reaching out to brush my face with one long, cold, wrinkled finger.

“Get your filthy hands away from me! You and your First Order party can hide out here behind your walls and your police protection, but the rest of the world wants you gone. You can't fight us all, you're going to loose this war!” I'm absolutely seething. Snoke smiles and laughs a deep, yet hacking dry belly laugh, “Oh my dear girl, you really are special aren't you. The First Order controls the government and in turn is the most powerful force in the world today. There might be millions of you – out to bring us down – but you are all pathetic, powerless, chaotic parasites. I suppose it doesn't hurt to dream, does it?” And without so much as another look, Snoke and his entourage walk away.

* * *

The elevator ride down is quiet. I can tell that Kylo hadn't planned on our encounter with Snoke. He walks me out into a large, busy foyer and through glass doors towards the parking lot.

“I'm driving you home.” he says without even looking in my direction. “NO! No you're not! Just let me catch a bus, I can't show up with you! Are you crazy!?” I say, trying to wiggle out of his grasp.

“Rey, stop! I will drop you off before we arrive at your place, but please, let me help you.” There is something about the way he is looking at me, that makes me change my mind and before I have a chance to second guess my decision I'm buckling my seat belt in Kylo Ren's black luxury car.

“Open the glove compartment. There is a notebook and pen, I need to be able to contact you.” Kylo explains and before I have a chance to disapprove he continues, “I lied to Snoke about the police and about starting a file on you. I will be able to cover my tracks later, but I need to be able to get in touch with you, if anything goes wrong. E-mail, telephone, something. For emergencies only.”

I look down at the small, leather bound notebook in my hands and feel uncertain. If my friends ever found out that I gave Kylo "fucking" Ren my number, they'd have kittens – BUT – I think he's right and I kind of want to see him again no matter what. I scribble down my initials and mobile number and then stuff the book back where I found it. Before I know it we're only a couple blocks from the squat. I never actually told Kylo where to take me, but I guess it's isn't a shock that he knew where to find me.

“Well, I guess this is as far as I can take you.” he says.

“Thanks for the ride Kylo. See you around.” I say quietly, as I climb out the passenger door. “Stop, Rey!” Kylo calls me right before I close the door, “Here take my card. In case of an emergency – call me – anytime, OK?” he says leaning over holding a black business card towards me.

“Uhhh...OK. Thanks.” I say, taking the card and stuffing it in my pouch. I start walking quickly in the direction of the squat and hear Kylo's car drive off. I feel a strange sense of  sadness now that he's gone and am fairly certain that I've officially lost it.

* * *

Judging by everyone's reaction once I get home, I'm pretty sure they thought I was a goner!

The second I step through the front door and into the huge front hall I hear Rose screaming, “REEEEEEEEY!” as she bounds down the stairs, “I saw you coming from upstairs! I've been on lookout all night waiting for you! WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU CALL!?” Rose's typical happy, sweet face has morphed into an angry, red, scary face – black eye and all – and I can tell that she has been worried sick. “I'm so sorry Rose. Please believe me, I have one hell of a story and hopefully you'll be able to understand why I didn't call.”

Leading me into the kitchen Rose brings me to the others, who are also very relieved to see me.

“Jess called us from the police station. But she didn't know where you were. I've been freaking out peanut!” Finn says while nearly crushing me in his arms. “Is Jess OK, is she back yet?!” I wonder aloud, but after scanning my surroundings I discover that she's missing. “No. She'll probably be stuck with everyone else in police custody until the convention is over. That's what the legal team is saying at least...” huffs Poe, who is looking a little worse for wear himself. Turns out he was involved in some pretty intense street fights that afternoon and his eyes are bright red from the tear gas.

Rose hands me a bottle of beer and plate of hummus and bread, “OK Rey, you HAVE to tell us where you've been!”

Between stuffing my face, I tell my friends a "version" of my experience – I don't want to lie to them, so I simply omit certain details - including my entire encounter with Kylo Ren.

“So your telling me, that you managed to sneak into the convention, confront Snoke and still live to tell us about it?!” Poe hollers before letting out a loud laugh, which morphs into a crazy sort of whoop. “Damn Rey! You are good!” Everyone is laughing and seem really excited, except Rose.

The look on her face tells me that she smells a rat. I try to put on my happiest smile – flashing my beautiful teeth and dimples in her direction – but I know, it's not enough.

* * *

I'm on verge of exhaustion, considering how short my sleep was last night and I'm ecstatic when I finally flop onto the sofa bed and close my eyes. Rose sleeps with me, but she doesn't cuddle up to me like she normally does. I don't have the energy to roll over and talk to her about everything, so I just fall asleep with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, knowing I've let her down.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pointless to walk, past time to run  
> Secured under the weight of watchful eyes  
> Lulled to sleep under clear expansive skies  
> Somewhere in these prying hearts  
> Conflicting history tear us apart and  
> We hope we won't get  
> What we deserve  
> Behind the targets in front of all the people we serve
> 
> "Reprovisional" by Fugazi

The next morning begins at a more reasonable hour. I'm enjoying my third cup of coffee and second helping of pancakes when Connix sits down beside me. “Rey, as you know today is day two of the convention. There will be groups protesting downtown again, but I was wondering if you would be interested in accompanying me to a meeting – a sort of task force – I think everyone there would love to hear your insight.”

My mouth is still full of pancakes and so I only manage to smile and nod in her direction. “Great. Meet me in the front in 10 minutes, OK?”

I feel sort of guilty, since I still haven't managed to sit down and talk with Rose, who seems to be avoiding me. However, I don't have time to dwell on this fact, because soon I'm sitting in Connix's car listening to her and Finn discuss the event. “So, the task force is meeting at Tekka Towers. Representatives from every organization and group involved in the Resistance will be there.”

Looking out my window at the city passing by, I feel excitement bubbling up inside me. Tekka Towers is perhaps the cities most famous landmark. This task force must be the real deal and suddenly I'm struck with absurdity of my part in it all.

Looking down at my worn out black jeans, t-shirt, sneakers, and general appearance, I'm certain that I will stick out like a sore thumb. “Are you sure I should come along Connix? I'm not really dressed appropriately and...” Finn cuts me off, “Come on Rey, are you kidding me? You are, probably, the only person who managed to sneak a peek at the convention yesterday – no one is going to care about what you're wearing! It's the revolution, not fashion week!” He's smiling back at me from the front seat - grabbing my hand in his, he squeezes, “Plus, there'll be snacks and great people watching – it'll be fun!”

Hmpf...I know he's making fun of me now. Finn finds it weird that I like to just sit and watch people sometimes. He also knows that I love to eat. “Hopefully they'll be serving BBQ!” he says with a wink.

* * *

 

We arrive after what seems like forever - the traffic downtown is horrible and it takes us over 30 minutes to find parking. However, the foyer of Tekka Towers is breathtakingly beautiful and lives up to it's reputation as a milestone in architectural history. It's a soaring space seem stark at first, but its textures and rich colors warm up the sunlit space. The vaulted ceiling shelters unfinished-wood doors dotted with expressive knots and the diamond-pattern stone floor looks almost too beautiful to walk on.

The doorman buzzes us through and we're ushered into the elevator and ride it to the top floor! The doors open onto another, small foyer with large ornamental doors. These doors seem to magically swing open as we approach and I walk into the most impressive, beautiful apartment I've ever seen and most likely, will ever see! The first thing I notice is the view from the floor to ceiling windows, which span the entire length of the room. Then I notice the luxurious, yet spartan decor – I feel like I've stepped into the pages of Architectural Digest or something.

“Holy shit Finn, what is this place?!” I manage to blurt out while elbowing him in the arm. “Ouch, geez...Rey! This is Leia Organa's place. I didn't want to spill the beans on the way here – so SUPRISE!” he chuckles, waving his hands dramatically in front of us. In that moment I see her, sitting at a long, wood table with Amilyn Holdo and other famous / non-famous faces of the Resistance. They're all deep in discussion, but pause as we make our way over towards them.

“Good that you're here Kaydel and Finn – you've brought a friend, hello and welcome! I'm Leia Organa, please make yourself at home.” she says making her way towards me, taking my hand in her warm, strong grip. Her hands are small and show signs of her true age, but her grip is solid as she shakes my clammy hand. “I'm Rey. It's truly an honor to meet you.” I manage to stammer.

“I remember you from the demonstration yesterday. I'm glad you're here.” she says smiling, leading us towards the table.

“Well, I think we're basically all here now.” she begins after a moments pause. “I'm so glad that you've all found time to make it to this round table of sorts. We are all so different, but we all have one thing in common and that is fighting against the First Order and their tyranny.” Looking around the table I spot the heads of the major unions, two well known politicians, and even a famous actress, who is an outspoken opponent of the First Order. “My hope for this meeting, is that we can work together to plan for the last two days of this convention and beyond that – plan for a coalition to continue the fight in the following weeks and months.”

After a short introduction and brainstorming phase, the meeting breaks into smaller groups and coffee is served. I feel a little out of my element, but it's fascinating to listen to the others talk with such passion and knowledge. Finn and Connix are deep in discussion with two members of NAACP, when I realize I have to pee. I head in the direction of the nearest hallway, hoping to find the bathroom without bothering anyone, but this place is huge and soon I realize that I should have asked for directions! I peak beyond a few doors, but none of them lead to a bathroom. Finally, just as I'm about to give up my search, I open a door and find a large, luxurious bathroom on the other side.

Focusing on the task at hand, I sit and admire my surroundings while emptying my bladder. The walls and floors are definitely marble. Nothing is too gaudy, but it all looks very fancy. I wash my hands - the soap smells incredible and the hand towel is softer than any towel I've ever touched! Geez...stop gushing brain! I roll my eyes at myself in the huge mirror and I'm about to leave when something catches my eye. On the far side of the room there is another door, which is open. It leads into a room with a beautiful, antique desk which displays a variety of photographs in beautiful crystal frames. One photo catches my eye - it's a picture of him: Kylo Ren. He looks younger, but his face is unmistakable. Before I realize what I'm doing, I head towards the desk and then reach out and touch the pictures. It only takes a moment to realize that there are several pictures of him on the desk – as a young boy, as a awkward teenager and one together with Leia Organa and her ex-husband Han Solo, the famous photographer.

“I think he got his good looks from me, but his charm from his father.” My heart jumps into my throat and I whip around to find Leia standing behind me, looking down at the framed photographs.

“Oh geez...I'm...I'm really sorry for snooping. I didn't...I was just peeing...” OH MY GOD! My face is probably the deepest shade of red and I would like nothing more than to disappear right now, but Leia is smiling, “Don't worry honey. That's what I was coming here to do too.” Turning, Leia walks back into the bathroom and I follow meekly behind. “Honestly Ms. Organa, I was going to the bathroom and the picture of Kylo caught my eye. I shouldn't have snooped. I'm mortified.”

To my surprise Leia smiles and waves her hand in my direction, while sitting down swiftly on the toilet, “Look, Rey? I hope you don't mind, but I really do have to go.” I shake my head and try to seem cool. “Don't be embarrassed. It's OK. But please, don't go telling everyone you know, that Leia Organa's only child is a First Order henchman. OK?” I continue to nod mutely while she talks, “I love my son. But Kylo Ren, isn't my son. My son is Ben Solo. Snoke took him from me – manipulated and poisoned him against me, against his family. But I will never stop loving him.”

Moving to wash her hands, I find my voice again, “Kylo Ren isn't your son. So no one needs to know. But I think...I think Ben Solo is still there, inside him.” Leia's eyes whip up to meet mine in the mirror, “Do you really think so? What makes you say that?” she asks while turning to face me.

It's like a dam breaks within me and I'm finally able to tell someone what I experienced yesterday – no half truths, no short cuts – I tell her the whole story. When I'm done she's smiling at me. “Rey, thank you so much for telling me your story. Your secrets safe with me.” she adds with a wink, “I hope you don't run into any trouble because Snoke. He's...he's a terrible person. If you do, here, take my card.” she says handing me her elegantly simple, white business card, “You can always call me, if you need help.”

Leia leads us back up the long hallway towards the living room, “I hope that you're right about Ben. I miss him. I miss him so much.” she says with a glimmer of moisture in her soft, brown eyes – warmest brown with little specks of gold in the middle.

* * *

 

The next few hours pass in a blur, I'm too wound up from my discovery about Kylo Ren to be of any use. After a delicious lunch Finn, Connix, and I head back to the squat. Both Finn and Connix are abuzz with excitement and talk the entire way home. I just sit in the backseat and am lost in my thoughts. How could Leia Organa's son become so twisted and hateful? The man I was with last night didn't seem like an evil asshole, but more like a damaged, misunderstood man.

It isn't until we pull up to the squat that I realize what I need to do. I need to believe in Ben Solo.

When I was with him, I'd felt something. I know that he is not lost. As a young, malnourished preteen, I also built up my protective walls and sheltered myself from feeling emotion – keeping myself safe from the disappointments life brings. It wasn't until I found my friends, who helped me feel again and find peace with myself.

That's what I need to do now - I need to help Ben Solo find himself again.

* * *

 

The squat is basically deserted when we arrive. Everyone is out protesting or in police custody. Not even Rose is around.

I leave Connix and Finn to hash out their plans and I head for the roof. Carefully making my way up an old, wobbly ladder I crawl through the skylight and onto the roof. The view isn't as breathtaking as the one at Leia's, but it's quiet up here and I can be alone. I take out my phone and Kylo's card. Twirling it around in my fingers I hesitate. Is this completely absurd? He'll probably laugh his ass off at me if I call him without reason. I punch in his number anyway. I've never given a shit what people think of me, why start now, right?

Biting at my bottom lip, I listen as the phone rings...1...2...3...4...5 rings – should I hang up? I'm about to do just that when, “Hello? Rey?” Just the sound of his voice makes my knees wobble and my heart beat faster. “Kylo. It's me. I need to see you.”

There is a short pause, I can hear noises – he's not alone. “Is everything alright? Are you OK?” he asks me, sounding genuinely concerned. “Yes. I'm fine. I know you said only emergencies, but I...I need to talk to you.” I hope my voice doesn't sound as desperate and pathetic as I think it does. “I can't talk here. Hang on a second...” suddenly I can't hear a thing, everything is muffled. Moments later, “OK, Rey. I'm here, let's talk.”

He's left the loud meeting room and found a quiet spot to talk. “Do you know where I am right now?” he asks with a hint of a smile in his voice. “No, in the bathroom?” I guess – it would be fitting considering where I hung out with his mother today. “No. I'm in YOUR closet. Heh...” he laughs and I laugh too. “Perfect. I'm on the roof of the squat. It's so nice out today and no one is around.” I tell him.

We spend the next 15 minutes just talking like this – about nothing in particular. “Rey. This has been nice, but is there a special reason you called? ” The edge in his voice isn't one of irritation, but darker – perhaps impatience ? “Kylo, when we were together last night, I felt something. I think you felt it too. I know it sounds insane, but I need to see you again.” My heart is racing and waiting for him to reply is torture. “Hmm...” he grumbles deeply, a sound which excites me more than I wish to admit. “OK. But not right now. I can't leave now. Later. I'll send you a message – when and where.” I'm nodding my head and feel like squealing with delight, “OK, I'll see you later then B...!” I catch myself almost calling him Ben – which might not be the best idea - “B... b e there or be square!” I blurt out instead. “Goodbye Rey.” and then he's gone. I stand up and hop up and down on the spot – I'm absolutely giddy – I've got a date with Kylo Ren!

* * *

It's in that moment - where I'm doing my strange little jig - that I notice I'm not alone. Rose is sitting in the shade of an old, bulky chimney. “Oh, hey Rose.” I try to keep my voice all non-nonchalant and normal, but inside my head alarm bells are sounding and I'm freaking out.

“Hey Rey. I'm sorry if it seems like I'm snooping, but I was here first.” Rose sounds PISSED. Her voice is all monotone and she isn't looking at me.

“Look Rose, I know what you're thinking, but...” I start to try to explain myself, but she turns around suddenly and cuts me off, “No Rey! You have no FUCKING CLUE what I'm thinking about!” Standing up, she marches in my direction, “I knew that something was up last night! I KNEW YOU WERE LYING TO ME!” She's right up in my face and her gaze is unwavering. “You...my best friend – LYING! And for what ?! FOR KYLO FUCKING REN!?” Rose is crying now – big, fat tears streaming down her beautiful face, streaking past her purple-green bruises and it breaks my heart. “Rose, please, PLEASE! Hear me out! For one minute, PLEASE!” I'm crying now too, I realize, reaching out to grab a hold of Rose's hands. “I'm so sorry for not telling you everything last night – I really, truly am! But I wasn't ready and I couldn't tell Poe or Finn.”

I pull Rose over towards two old wooden crates and sit down beside her. “ Yesterday was so surreal. I was caught by Kylo Ren and I was afraid. But then...I don't even know how to explain what happened...I wasn't afraid anymore.” My nose is running and I reach into my pouch and pull out my black handkerchief – offering it to Rose first, but she pushes it away, “Eww...gross Rey. I love you, but not that much.” she laughs – I laugh too, while blowing my nose and then I pull her into my arms, “Rose. I would have told you tonight. I promise. I just needed time.” Her face isn't as sullen anymore and I can see the hint of a smile in her dark eyes. “ Well, I'm all ears Rey. It better be a good story!”

* * *

Later on we descend the la dd er together and join Connix and Finn in the kitchen. I feel a thousand pounds lighter after telling Rose everything about Kylo. She doesn't know the part about Ben Solo – but that isn't my secret to tell. “Rey, I won't lie – I don't like this – but I trust you and if you think he's worth taking a chance on, well...then your secret is safe with me.”

Slowly more people are returning to the squat with shocking tales of police brutality and even more street fights with First Order supporters. Snoke held an especially moving speech today and in turn inspired his followers to strike out at the “rebel scum” with utmost ferocity. I'm starting to worry, since Poe hasn't returned. I send him text after text, but he isn't responding. Now I know how my friends must have felt last night, waiting up for me.

It's getting dark again and I try to keep myself occupied while helping in the kitchen - cooking lentil curry for 50+ hungry bellies – but all I manage to do is slice my finger open and bleed all over the onions I 'm chopping. “DAMN, SHIT, FUCK!” I'm such a wuss when it comes to blood and so I look away as Rose bandages my finger up. “Well, I guess dinner won't be vegan after all.” she says with a snicker. Rolling my eyes I head up to our room and change into clean clothes . Jess still hasn't returned, but at least I know where she is. I feel guilty thinking about her “rotting” away in a police cell, while I raid her closet – pulling out a white tank top to replace my bloodied t-shirt.

For the fiftieth time in the last hour I check my phone for messages, but there's nothing. I slink over to the fire escape to sit and keep watch for signs of my friend s . My mind wanders and I find myself thinking about him – Kylo Ren – again. In that exact moment my phone rings, “Poe!?” I answer so quickly, I don't even see who it is calling. “No, it me, Kylo.”

Our call is brief. Only long enough for him to tell me an address and a time. “Can you make it in an hour?” he asks, sounding oddly detached. “Umm...yeah, I think so.” is all I manage to reply before he ends the call.

I quickly hop back through the window and write down the address he gave me. I have a sinking feeling in my stomach as I make my way downstairs. Why was his call so short and indifferent?

When I find Rose, she's setting up for dinner – which is almost finished and smells amazing! “Rey, just in time!” she smiles in my direction, but then instantly notices that somethings up, “What's wrong?” I pull Rose out of the busy kitchen and into a quiet corner of the hallway. “You-know-who just called me. I have to go meet him.” I whisper under my breath.

“Right now?! Why the rush – you have to eat!” Rose is annoyed, but I'm already making my way to the front door. “I'll be back soon. I'll make him pick me up something to eat. I need to go, there's something wrong. He sounded really out of it.” I'm already heading down the front steps and through the yard and can hear Rose: “Be safe Rey ...I've got a bad feeling about this!”

* * *

 

I'm jogging down the deserted, dark streets towards our meeting point and feel awash with mixed emotions. Excitement , nervousness, guilt...

I make it to the meeting point - a quiet, dark intersection several blocks away from the squat – with more than a few minutes to spare, but Kylo's already there.

His car is parked just around the corner and he's leaning up against his car, hands in his pockets, just waiting. I make my way over to him quickly and he glances in my direction. As I approach his car he steps towards me and takes my hands in his. His gaze is intense, but reserved – he doesn't look happy to see me and I can tell that something is wrong.

“What's wrong Kylo?” I ask him, “I could tell by the sound of your voice when you called and now...tell me what's going on? Is it Snoke?” Kylo is shaking his head and reaches up to touch the back of my neck with one of his hands. Pulling me towards him, he takes me into his arms and hugs me. I'm a bit confused, but also pleasantly surprised. His arms and chest feel so solid and 'm totally comfortable in his embrace.

“I'm so sorry Rey. This isn't how I envisioned this evening. Please know that. Please just listen to what I have to tell you.” I tense up, but don't try to extract myself from his arms. I actually seem to try to tighten my hold on him. I feel afraid. Kylo takes a step back, holding me at arms length and looks deeply into my eyes, “I had nothing to do with this, but at the same time, everything.” He leads me to the rear passenger door of his car and then opens it, reveling an bruised, bloodied, and unconscious Poe!

* * *

 

I feel all the blood drain from my face as I take in the sight of my beautiful friend – nearly beaten past recognition, “Oh my god, Poe!” I sob, squatting down and running my hands over his face and shoulders, “Poe! Poe! It's me, Rey!”

After a moment I twist around to face Kylo and give him a hefty shove, “WHAT THE FUCK KYLO! What the hell happened to Poe! TELL ME! TELL ME!” I'm nearly screaming, but also sobbing and Kylo surges forward to grab me by the arms, once again pulling me towards him. “Shhhh...please Rey. Let me explain, please...shhh...I'm here. I want to help.”

I wiggle and feign a sort of pathetic resistance, but I don't really want him to let go. I just sob into his jacket and listen.

“I found him. There were huge street fights today between First Order followers and protesters.” His arms seem to tighten and one of his hands reaches up to stroke through my hair. “When I found him, he was still conscious and kept saying your name. That's when I called you.” We're both still for a moment and then Kylo pulls away, “Quickly, get in the car. I'll take you to the hospital.” Opening the front passenger door, Kylo ushers me into the seat and closes the door behind me. I quickly whip around and caress Poe's shoulders, “ I'm here Poe. We're going to get help. You're safe...” I tell him. Kylo has started the car and we're driving away, but I can't bring myself to turn around.

“How could this happen? Why do people do this to one another? Why?” I'm crying again, finally turning around to buckle my seatbelt. Kylo reaches over and takes my hand in his, without looking away from the road. “I don't know Rey.” His thumb is rubbing along my knuckles and we drive the rest of the way in silence.

Once we pull up the doors of the hospital, Kylo helps me get Poe out of the backseat and lucky for us there happens to be a nurse pushing an empty wheelchair towards the entrance – she sees Poe's condition and rushes over to help us. I follow her into the hospital and she whisks him straight into the ER without further questions. Another nurse approaches me with some paperwork, “Do you know that man? Can you fill out these forms and get them back to me as soon as possible?” I nod my head and turn towards the ever familiar waiting area, only to notice that Kylo is gone.

I don't know what I was expecting, but I feel utterly crestfallen that he just up and left me here on my own. Taking a seat I fill out as much of the form as I can and then bring them back up to the front desk. “I'll let you know more about your friend's condition as quickly as I can.” says the young nurse with a knowing smile. For the second time in 48 hours I take a seat in the darkened corner of a hospital waiting room. I must be crying, because I can feel the tears rolling down my cheeks, but I'm not making any noises.I quickly send Rose a message:

it's me - I found Poe. I'll call you later with more info. 

It's then that I notice someone walking in my direction. I look up and make a strange, shocked sort of noise, “Kylo!” He's carrying two cups of coffee and sits down in the seat beside me. “I wasn't sure how you take your coffee, so you get it how I like it, black.”

I must have a look of complete shock on my face, because Kylo laughs, “Well? Are you going to take it or not?” I accept the cup from him and take a sip. “Thank you Kylo. I thought you'd left.” I'm staring at my hands as I say this and he reaches over and touches my arm. “I had to park the car and then I thought you ought to have something to eat.” At the mention of food, I look expectantly and see that he has an apple and a little brown paper bag. “I'm famished! What did you find?”

Kylo cracks a smile – he looks so beautiful when he smiles – and shakes his head, “Well, the selection wasn't great, so I got the apple, a croissant, and a protein bar.” Offering me the apple, I take it from him and put my coffee down of the table in front of us. “Thank you.” I say as I take him in my arms and give him a tight squeeze. Before I have time to really consider what I'm doing, I kiss him. His lips are just as soft and warm as I imagined they'd be and taste faintly like coffee. I hear him drop the paper bag on the floor and then feel his hand come up to hold the back of my head. The kiss deepens and I feel his tongue dart softly between my open lips. I savor the his taste and the warmth of his mouth. I can hear myself emitting strange little noises from the back of my throat and have to smile. Kylo's soft, full lips move away from my mouth and start to press warm kisses along my jawline and down my neck. I can feel the whisper of his eyelashes against my skin and it's wonderful.

“REY JAKKU, Rey Jakku!” calls a tinny voice over the speakers just above our head and we break our embrace. “That's me.” I say with a shrug and then get up, heading over to the front desk. It's the friendly nurse from before, “Ms. Jakku your friend Poe is in stable condition. He's still resting, perhaps you would like to wait a bit longer, in case he wakes up?” she asks with a caring smile. “Yes, I'll wait. Thank you.”

Heading back towards Kylo, I catch him on his phone, checking some messages. Glancing up at me, he slips his phone back into his jacket pocket and hands me my coffee. “Any news?” he asks. I tell him what the nurse said and then we sit silently – drinking our coffees and eating the few snacks he'd collected. “Care for a piece?” he asks offering me some of the croissant. “Thanks, but no thanks.” I smile, “I'm vegan and it's safe to assume that is not.” Kylo smirks and makes a odd sort of snorting noise while lightly shaking his head, “Why doesn't that surprise me.” he says.

I elbow him in the arm and shake my head too, “Hmpf...what's that supposed to mean?!” I reply while finishing off the apple. “Well, it's just that OF COURSE you'd be one of those people.” I nearly spit out my mouthful of apple, “ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE!?” Once again Kylo is laughing, “Yes, one of those people! Utopian, bleeding heart, can't we all just get along people! But, hey, I like you anyway.” he finishes off darkly. Part of me wants to slap him in the face and storm off, another part of me wants to scream – but I just sit there staring at him incredulously. “Whatever dude.” is all I manage to get out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Sorry for the rough edges and poor grammar - BUT it's a punk rock fan fic - so it's a tad chaotic!
> 
> Kudos are great, comments would be radical!


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